Be Still

It's safe to say that the last few weeks have been very challenging and confusing for me. As I am approaching 21 (holla!), I can't help but get a little nervous about my life and where it's headed. I'm the type of girl who wants a laid out plan, so that I know what's going on. It's just how I am. I may be a major procrastinator, but I like a plan.

I have many dreams and aspirations that I wish to accomplish in my life, and quite frankly, I want to do it all NOW! I don't want to wait until I'm old to fulfill these life desires that I have. With that being said, I find myself trying to lay out MY plan for MY life.

Get a record deal by the time I'm 22.
Be married by 23-24.
Travel, play music, and do ministry with my husband until 26-27.
Have children by 28.
Lead worship at a church when I'm 30.
Live happily ever-after.


There are still some things to fill in those years, but you get the point. I want a set plan so that I know what steps I need to take. It's funny though, as I am reminded of Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans His course, but the LORD determines his steps."


Now, I believe that it's important to have dreams, visions, and aspirations for our lives, but we must be open to God coming in and redirecting us.

Like I said, the last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I kept asking Lord, where do you want me? What steps do I need to take? I want to do your will, but I am not getting any answers from you. And it was then that I felt an urgency just to surrender. Surrender my plans, my fears, and my worries. I got down on my knees one night next to my bed, closed my eyes tightly and said, "Lord, I surrender my plans to you. Teach me to be still, and trust you with my life."

I felt much better after that, but I was still discouraged. So yesterday, as I was sitting at the house I nanny at, I said to God again, "You just need to scream at me. You know I don't listen well! Please, just yell at me if you have to, so that I listen!" As cool as it would be to tell you that the next part of this story the Lord came down with a loud, earth shaking, bass toned voice and said, "LEX! GO THIS WAY!" It didn't exactly work out that way. It worked a little different than that...

Every morning I have 3 different online devotions that I do, and a daily Bible Chapter that I read. Well, this morning I woke up still feeling a little off. I dragged myself out of bed, over to my couch, and opened up my computer to start my devotions for the day. As I sipped my Naked Juice (Yum!), and took a bite out of my breakfast bar, I started reading My Utmost For His Highest, and the scripture was Matthew 6:25, "Don't worry about your life..." I will admit that I chuckled and said Okay God, good one! As I finished, I started my next devotion, Girlfriends In God, and the title for today was "Trust God with Your Tomorrows", and yet again I chuckled and said, "Okay, really? 2 for 2?" when I got to my last devotion, Joyce Meyer's Daily Devotion, I saw two words that shook me up - Be Still.


Why is it so hard for us just to be still? Why is it so difficult to truly trust in the One who Created us?

He just asks us to be still, and know that He is God. My chapter reading for today was Romans 11, and the verse that jumped out at me was verse 33, "Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible is it for us to understand His decisions and His ways!" 


As I finished my devotions, I threw my head back, smiled, and said "Lord, You are CRAZY!"

Be still. Trust. Surrender.